


Uncle Cecil's Security Rabbit

by gaiyok



Series: Maddy!Verse [1]
Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: All of my Juno Steel fics have rabbits, Gen, I've come to terms with it, M/M, Maddy Steel is a Badass, Off screen descriptions of violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-05 09:53:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10303976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaiyok/pseuds/gaiyok
Summary: Medea "Maddy" Steel's Uncle Cecil sends the weirdest gifts.A prologue to a new series based off of the prompt: “Does he know about the Baby?”





	

Juno was typically able to head off most of the gifts that ‘Uncle’ Cecil sends his daughter.

Given the extreme secrecy surrounding her parentage there’s no way (thank god) for Cecil to send his niece gifts directly without Min or any one of his thousands of viewers catching on. He may be an emotionally unstable psychopath but Cecil was as close to Cassandra as he was capable of being with anyone, and he knew the risks.

Juno, in turn, knew that despite all of his many (so, so many) flaws, Cecil would never do anything that would purposefully put Medea in harms way.

The problem, of course, was that Cecil and the rest of the world saw “harm’s way” as two very different things. After the night that changed so many lives; Cassandra tearfully convincing Cecil to burn his twins face almost beyond recognition in order to smuggle her away from Min’s watchful gaze and into the arms of Valles Vicky (if only temporarily), Cecil swore that his niece would always have the protection afforded a Kanagawa even if she could never claim her mother’s name.

First there was the cheerfully decorated box from a local department store; the titanium rattle inside matched the one Juno had seen in one of the catalogues Rita had left around the apartment during the early days of his rocky transition into single parenthood.

It was only luck that Rita was curious enough to give it a few ‘test shakes’ before giving it to one month old Maddy. The motion sensing caltrops that flung themselves out of the deceptive toy embedding in the kitchen cabinets, floor, and ceiling.

It didn’t take much detective work to figure out who sent it either; not with ‘Love, Uncle Cecil’ inscribed in flowery script on the underside of the handle.

Next came the rocket powered rocking horse, the doll that transformed into a fully armed artillery drone, and the horribly terrifying “Baby Monitor” creature that slunk into the apartment through a window with a huge purple bow around its… neck?…which took Juno six hours to catch in the biggest iron box he could find.

Juno and Rita spent the next few months of Maddy’s life under the impression that Cecil was waging an ersatz war against them; even going so far as to reach out to Cassandra (the one and only time he did) to ask her to get him to lay off. Which is how he found out about Cecil’s particular brand of ‘protection’ and 'harm prevention’.

Juno still isn’t sure, three years later, if accepting Cecil’s occasional destructive intrusions into their lives was worth it, but Cassandra had seemed so relieved when she realized that her twin had taken such a shine to her daughter that he really couldn’t tell him to stay away.

Goddamn empathy.

Nevertheless, Juno has learned to be able to spot a package from Cecil at ten paces. Most of them ended up in the incinerator, absolutely too dangerous to be given to a toddler, but one or two did get passed on.

Maddy’s favourite was supposed to go to the incinerator but she found it on her daddy’s desk while he was on the phone and by the time he turned back she was already showing her pet rabbit Demeter the stuffed rabbit toy with the red jewel eyes.

The ribbon around its neck had a tag that read: “The Code Word is 'junebug’. Love, Uncle Cecil”

Thank god Maddy was five and couldn’t read cursive yet.

Demeter growled at him when he went to take the toy away from Maddy and he had to promise that he was only going to be borrowing it that both girl and rabbit let go.

He took the toy to the roof and held it at arms length, with the face pointed at the wall

“Junebug”

He squeezed his eyes shut at the blinding red light that shot from the toys eyes and left the wall charred and smoking.

“…Okay”

It could have been worse; but he still took ten minutes to sit on the ground and try to figure out if he could pry the eyes off of the toy without getting incinerated (he could not)

The long talk that followed that afternoon went over in great detail why Maddy should treat Uncle Cecil’s Security Rabbit with the same respect she showed Daddy’s blaster. No saying the codeword, no not even 'by accident’, unless you want whoever SR is pointing at to end up like the wall upstairs. Juno was still very much against the whole idea of letting Maddy keep the toy, but he was a weak man against the combined forces of his daughter and Demeter’s puppy-dog eyes.

———————————————

Two and a half weeks later a drug addict broke into the office while Juno was out on a case. He had an old fashioned bullet gun and withdrawal shakes.

Rita herded Maddy and Demeter behind her desk and tried to explain that they don’t keep cash in the office.

The junkie tried to pop off a warning shot but his hands were shaking and the bullet grazed a deep line into Rita’s shoulder.

Juno had to cobble what happened next out of the babbled confession tape of a would be thief who had been thrown through the doors of the local HCPD covered in third and second degree burns, along with Rita and Maddy’s overlapping explanations on their way to the hospital.

Apparently seeing her Auntie Rita get hurt was the last straw for his baby and she had codeworded the shit out of the security rabbit sitting on the desk. Three 'junebugs’ later, Demeter had had to drag his smouldering ass to the precinct before thumping home to check on Maddy.

Honestly? Juno was pretty impressed. A little worried to be sure, but his kid had defended herself, Demeter and her aunt without hesitation and he was so proud of her.

The Security Rabbit maintained its place of pride on Rita’s desk for years, as did the blackened outline of a running man on the opposite wall. It made a great conversation piece when people came in.

It definitely caught the attention of a certain Agent Glass on his first visit to the office of Juno Steel Private Eye.

OMAKE:

When Maddy turns fourteen Uncle Cecil starts sending his gifts to her directly.

She gets a set of poisonous lip-glosses for her sixteenth Birthday that save her life when a classmate gets handsy with her at a party.

She leaves them foaming at the mouth on a stranger's bedroom floor and runs until she’s home in her Daddy’s arms.

Cecil finds a rare bottle of Cerenese sun-wine in his lab the next day, with a news article about a student found dead at a party attached to the neck.

Maddy gets a collapsable blaster and shooting lessons from her Daddy and Papa gives her her own set of knives as a belated birthday present.

**Author's Note:**

> KEEP AN EYE OUT SOON FOR: JUNO AND MEDEA STEEL AND THE MURDEROUS MASK PART ONE


End file.
